Falling In Love In The Cruelest Way

I’m so glad I wrote that last post. I thought I had a million reasons to be angry tonight, but it turns out I don’t have a single one. That’s one of the main reasons I write. There are always so many random thoughts in my head and until I write them down I can’t always connect them. When I started writing that I wasn’t intending for anyone to read it because I thought I really was angry. I thought he had made so many mistakes here. But halfway through it I knew how wrong I was.

It’s so bizarre and cruel the way our emotions play tricks on us. I wonder if I hadn’t sat down to get it all out, would I have taken it out on him? Taken it out on someone else? Done something stupid like call a timeout on what we have?

In the past exercise was always the thing that cleared my head. I did two workouts today and neither helped even a little bit. I wonder when that change happened?

The main thing is that I think I’ll sleep now. I’m no longer debating in my head whether I want him around. I want him. I love having him in my life. This distance thing was always going to take more than a week to adjust to and if this is my first freakout, given how I usually behave, then I’m not doing too badly. And the main thing is that it was over quickly. Let’s hear it for coping mechanisms.

Baby steps. We’ll get there.


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Location:Denver Street,Cairns,Australia