I Know What's Funny.

Friendship Deal Breaker.

One of the remarkable things about being me is that I don't need you to tell me what's funny. If you feel a need to email me, text me or comment on my facebook page, rest assured that I can work out whether or not what you're saying is worthy of my laughter. I really, really - now listen closely here - really, do not need you to insert some letters symbolic of laughter at the end as if this were some bad US sitcom and I need to be prompted to laugh. If you're laughing at your own comments (and have a look - it's every single one of them) that's actually not funny, that's sad.

Please stop commenting on everything I do. I thought maybe we could be friends but after the text message onslaught on Friday night (did you wonder why I wasn't replying? Or did you just think you were so funny I was doubled up on the floor with laughter and unable to text?) and then the constant comments on everything I do, I'm actually thinking about shutting down my facebook account and flushing my phone.

You're a nice guy, but you really don't come with an off switch do you? Please believe me that if it's funny I will laugh, and it's funnier if you let me work it out for myself. Writing 'bahahhahahahahha' on the end of everything just makes me want to knee you in the groin. Deal breaker.