Case of the Ex.

This is my first non-exercise blog... I'm feeling a little lost today.

I'm feeling a little put out by Todd's ex-girlfriend, which I know is absolutely ridiculous as they broke-up several years ago. It's a little confusing as to why she bugs me so much... I don't even think that it's her that bugs me, it's just the fact that there was someone before me. It's kinda hard to explain...

I think the bit that gets to me is that he did all the commitment things with someone else. With the serious relationship that I had in the past, I was his first. The first girl that he had ever even attempted to settle down with. With Todd he's done all that before. They bought cars together, lived together, she's in all the family photo's... It makes me feel like I'm trying to fill her shoes.

I know, after two years it's time that I got over it, but I think the hard part is that she's just not going to go away. She's always going to be in the past, lurking in the background, just waiting for someone to mention her name... I think it's such a sore point because we bumped into her the other day at the shops and Todd completely ignored her. I think it would've bothered me less if he'd been polite with her. Instead, I feel like there must still be something there (anger, perhaps?) because he made such a blatant show of it. Then the next night he needed to go drinking with the boys for the first time in months. This morning he's barely talking to me... Those events separately would not bother me, but all together... Well, it looks just a little suspicious.

Perhaps I'm being paranoid and neurotic? I don't know. I just don't feel safe in our relationship at the moment. I feel like the trust is slowly being whittled away... And it's really sad to feel that way.